April 9, 2025

By Jamie Towey

One generation plants the trees, another enjoys the shade
 

My siblings and I didn’t do much gardening growing up. Or, at least, we didn’t do much planting. We weeded a lot, and to this day, analogies between weeds and bad habits echo in my head whenever I twist deep-rooted shoots out from cracks in the brick on my back patio. But as kids we only clipped, pruned, mowed, or plucked – we never sowed. Perhaps this lack of experience explains why trees remain mysteries to me. No amount of scientific explanations can cure me of the awe I feel when I gaze on a powerful oak tree. For that magnificence to have started as an acorn is simply a miracle in my eyes.

Well, right now in Virginia, forsythia, cherry blossoms, and dogwoods are bursting with flowers and delicate green buds; they shout that Spring has sprung. As Americans, we frequently need reminders to live in the moment since we tend to be a forward-thinking people, and who can’t be mindfully present in the presence of such awesome springtime splendor? But, as your non-agrarian writer here has increasingly become attuned to, we also ought to look backwards to appreciate such beauty. Who planted these trees?

Last week something happened that reminded me of how important our small actions today can be, how a healthy seed planted in good soil today, with the ample amounts of water, and sunshine, can yield a hundred-fold more than anyone could have imagined.

Last week, I opened my inbox to an email that shared the story (excerpted below) of Jo, the recently deceased wife of a family friend:

“25 years ago, Jo filled out the Five Wishes document specifying her wishes. They were very specific on the kinds of care she wanted and, more importantly, the kinds she did not want. [Jo’s husband] regarded them as equivalent to military orders. He followed them. His children had received their own copies and his daughter even commented that she knew them… Because of these clear directions, Jo passed in the tender comfort and care that the ICU was willing and able to offer. Imagine the peace of knowing what to do for someone you love.”
 

Take a moment and let that story take root. Remember, when Jo filled out her Five Wishes, Aging with Dignity was small potatoes, virtually unknown. My father had just started this small organization with the money in his wallet and then landed a few foundation and corporation grants to fund it. On the first day of work, our first two employees had to bring in their own chairs! When Jo was putting her pen to paper, we were essentially a Florida-only organization. But she had faith and we had faith. A quarter of a century later, over 43 million Americans and their loved ones have been able to rest in the peaceful shade provided by Five Wishes. And Jo’s family encountered peace, beauty, and cohesion through her final days.

I doubt she thought much about her Five Wishes over the past two and a half decades, and I doubt Dad and others like Paul Malley, who has been instrumental to our success during his 26 years of service, could have imagined what we would become as we now approach our organization’s thirtieth birthday. But our guiding inspiration, Mother Teresa, liked to say she preferred “the insecurity of Divine Providence.” Even an oak tree casting an enormous shadow across a lawn started as a tiny seed. Impossible, right? Not with Divine Providence.

Spring’s flowers and Jo’s poignant story give me comfort as we embark on a new era here at Aging with Dignity as we stand up for the poor, disabled, frail, and vulnerable against misguided public policies like physician-assisted suicide and encroachments from de-humanizing technologies like artificial intelligence. Yes, our team is working long hours; we’re getting dirt under our fingernails and sweating through our shirts (metaphorically, of course… or when the A/C goes out).

But we trust our work will bear fruit like it did in Jo’s life. The last thirty years remind me that our impact in the years ahead isn’t up to us.  That gives me the same peace of mind that Jo and her family enjoyed.

(The views expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Aging with Dignity and/or its Board of Directors.)