June 12, 2025

By Jamie Towey

家有一老如有一宝

When I was at Notre Dame, I took a class called Chinese Literature and Gardens. I was a Chinese major and needed to wrap up credits, so I took something that sounded sufficiently easy. I can’t recall much of what I did in class, but I do remember my professor’s general thesis that centuries of Chinese literature focused on gardens and nature because they embodied values not found in the streets of the city.

The great outdoors

I was reminded of that city vs. country dichotomy this weekend. My wife and our newborn were out in San Francisco visiting two of her brothers and her new niece, so I took our two older boys to the Shenandoah Valley to not only distract them from Mom being gone, but also to get them in touch with nature, to rip them out of the traffic lights and sirens of the DC metro area. The Shenandoah Valley is one of my favorite places on earth. The air is crisp, the towns and roads are all kissed by history, and the mountain ridges that shape it are homey; instead of the craggy spires and snowy peaks of the Rockies, they’re clothed in lush oaks, chestnuts, birches, and poplars. These mountains don’t tower over you, they hug you.

But it’s not just the nature that I (and the boys) love. It’s the people and their way of life. Perhaps I’m still wearing my rose-colored glasses or have listened to Country Roads too many times, but people out there live differently. The boys and I visited Steve, a hunting mentor of mine. He took us around his farm to see his more than fifty cows, plus some baby calves. We picked wild asparagus off the side of the road and the boys got to “operate” two of his tractors (needless to say, they were in heaven).

I was struck by the slowness and intentionality of Steve and so many others out there. The frenetic pace of a Washington DC, let alone a New York City, crowds out opportunities for silence, reflection, and deliberate living. Social media (easily one of the worst inventions of the past hundred years) and now AI relentlessly fight for your attention. No wonder so many feel defeated these days.

Not all of us are lucky enough to catch breaks in the glory of nature; mobility issues, family demands, and of course finances can hinder these opportunities. But at the end of the day, what really matters isn’t simply a change of scenery, although the great outdoors sure does wonders for health; no, it’s the virtues we learn to cultivate from these experiences.  And if we can’t find those virtues in nature, we can still find them in our daily lives. So, where can we find the virtues of silence, reflection, and intentionality? Easy: the elderly.

Embrace, don’t shun the elderly

That Chinese phrase I began with, 家有一老如有一宝, roughly translates to “the home with an elderly person has a treasure.” We learn lessons from the elderly. My brief jaunt to the Shenandoah Valley left me rejuvenated, but also concerned. I look at our culture and its treatment of the elderly and am saddened. A recent YouTube video from our founder and CEO and Kathryn Clarke about the national debt’s impact on intergenerational relations led to some pretty vicious comments toward the elderly and aging from some viewers. I wasn’t surprised. To many Americans under 40, their parents and grandparents aren’t seen as fonts of wisdom; no, they’re the scapegoats for basically everything, from the national debt to America’s decline on the global stage, even environmental degradation. And with the financial burdens of the cresting global age wave, I worry that this attitude will worsen.

It’s easier to blame someone than love someone. And in the same way that Millennials and Gen Z did indeed inherit problems that began under Boomers and Gen X’ers, let’s not forget that Boomers lived through the Cold War, nuclear expansion, the Sexual Revolution, and an unprecedented explosion in technology, all with the nihilistic backdrop of two world wars.

Aging with Dignity embraces the innate dignity of the human person, especially toward the end of life. To me, that means shouting from the rooftops that aging is a blessing, not a curse, that the home with an elderly person has a treasure. Generations pitted against each other, or worse, utterly separated from each other, will fail to appreciate the full spectrum of human experience crowned by old age. A trip to the country can teach you that lesson. So can a renewed relationship with your aging parents, grandparents, or even the folks in the assisted living facility around the corner.  If you don’t believe me, go and see for yourself.

(The views expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Aging with Dignity and/or its Board of Directors.)