By Jamie Towey

Aging with dignity has its ups and downs – just ask Lebron James.

Lebron and Stephen A

Last night, the self-named “King” entered the fourth quarter against the Pacers with just three points on 0-6 shooting and was staring at the end of his NBA-record streak of 1,282 games with double digit points. Twelve minutes of gameplay later, Luka Doncic missed a go-ahead floater but Lebron tipped it in right as the buzzer sounded, capping off a 10-point fourth quarter for him. Zero to hero in just twelve minutes. The streak goes on.

Nevertheless, at 40 years old and in his 21st season, Lebron is showing his age. If you think I’m about to spend this column lauding Lebron James for his graceful approach to aging and his impressive performance after decades of ball, you’re dead wrong – I’ve avoided cheering for him since he messed with my then-favorite player, Gilbert Arenas, at the free throw line in the 2006 playoffs.

No, I’m thinking of Lebron for another reason. You might have seen that Lebron and legendary ESPN talking head Stephen A. Smith got into a courtside spat a few days ago. Lebron took ire at how Stephen A. had been talking about Bronny James, Lebron’s son (and sometimes teammate). Stephen A claimed he was just doing his job, and later claimed he would have “IMMEDIATELY” thrown hands at Lebron if it had escalated, which… probably wouldn’t have ended well for Stephen A. I won’t relitigate the issue; you can read a detailed recap here.

Now, Lebron is well-known for not engaging with his critics. But this triggered him. Why?

The Role of Fatherhood

I think it’s because fatherhood is the fundamental characteristic of being a man, whether you actually have children or not. Masculinity fuels fatherhood, and being a father figure hones masculinity. We’ve talked before about how important it is for society to reclaim motherhood, but the same must be said for fatherhood.

Give Lebron some credit; he was raised by his mother and barely knew his morally challenged father; this experience showed the importance of being a good husband and father, according to the man himself. For what it’s worth, Stephen A. had a strained relationship with his father. So did perhaps the greatest Lebron critic ever, and former Stephen A sparring partner, Skip Bayless – famously so.

Our society is experiencing an implosion of father-son relationships, mostly because a) as I wrote about a few weeks ago, people just aren’t having kids anymore, and b) society doesn’t celebrate fatherhood. Turn on any commercial – dad is cringe, he’s toxic, he’s actually a mom, he’s incompetent… In reality, fatherhood is critical for our civilization and for men. It’s difficult, but being a father cultivates virtues. A good father is protective of his wife and children. He sacrifices, he provides, he leads, he is patient, he empathizes.

The Impact of Fatherhood

As the number of fathers declines and as the prominence of fatherhood continues to atrophy, I look to my own experiences. I watched my grandfather live with Alzheimer’s for over a decade. Grandpa was Class Captain of West Point in 1949, veteran of three wars, head of the Defense Nuclear Agency, but more important than anything, he was a loving husband and father to six children. His struggles with Alzheimer’s were difficult for his children and grandchildren, but his well-earned connection with them allowed them to walk with him, care for him, and better understand him. By being a good father to them, they embraced their role as children and saw him in a different light. This beautiful cycle to grandparent-parent-child relationships is an integral part of the human experience. But it seems to me it is rapidly decaying.

Life After Basketball

So, back to Lebron. It’s tough being a professional athlete because you can’t escape the spotlight. I hope he continues to strive to be a good father and, as he enters this new chapter of his life once he’s gone from the league, that he looks to embrace his role as a model for thousands of kids out there. If those kids are lucky, Lebron will recognize the immense responsibility of modeling authentic masculinity to them. And if we do our part, we’ll embrace our roles as fathers, mothers, sons, and daughters. That will do more to help people age with dignity than anything else.

(The views expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Aging with Dignity and/or its Board of Directors.)