January 29, 2026

By Jamie Towey

One topic that Dad (our founder, Jim Towey) has talked about at length is the subject of legacy (video here, blog here). As we age, this question of how we want to be remembered, what do we want to leave behind, becomes more pressing. Did we live a good life? The answer hinges on what we mean by good.

Well, this week provided a wonderful life lesson on this subject from the world of sports.

Apparently, the greatest NFL coach of my lifetime is not a first ballot Hall of Famer. Eleven voters on the Hall of Fame selection committee thought that Bill Belichick, easily the most dominant NFL coach of the past two decades, did not deserve to be inducted into the Hall on his first go-around. Why? Allegedly because of Spygate, or Deflategate. Mean press conferences, maybe?

The counting statistics speak for themselves (six Super Bowls, plus another two as a Defensive Coordinator, second-most wins all-time, most playoff wins all-time, three-time Coach of the Year, I could go on), but who needs stats when you have two decades of Steelers fandom trauma? Throughout my entire adolescent and adult life, I watched  Belichick and his staff out-coach, out-adjust, and out-execute my beloved Mike Tomlin-led Steelers. As a fan, it was infuriating to have the rug pulled out from under our team every time we played the Patriots. No one in the NFL world understands Canton’s decision to exclude him. Belichick, himself, reportedly is “puzzled.”

If Bill put credence into what others thought of him (highly doubtful, if you’ve ever seen his taciturn postgame conferences), this could come as a blow. But if Bill is secure in what he’s done and can hold his head high looking back on his long career, then this historic snub is irrelevant.

Because let me go a step further – his coaching legacy and even the Hall of Fame itself are ultimately a distraction. Life’s worth is not found in Super Bowl wins, employee of the month plaques, honorary degrees, or our Uber rating. It comes from a life lived for others. A recent blog from Dad about the transition from VIP to PIP – Very Important Person to Previously Important Person – describes the pains felt by older adults who once held the levers of power and commanded prestige, and now struggle to adjust to life out of the spotlight. I loved this piece, because I see it every day in this town: what will people do when they can no longer brag and name drop on LinkedIn or at a Washington Christmas Party?

But Father Time comes for all, and one day, our grasping, reaching, yearning for recognition and honor will cease. If, on his deathbed, Bill Belichick’s last words are, “I want everyone to remember that I revolutionized week-over-week defensive scheme adaptations,” then I doubt he’d be dying a happy man.

An obvious counter to our society’s obsession with status is Mother Teresa of Calcutta. When Dad last met with Mother in June of 1997, she rhetorically asked him, “What will happen to the poor? Who will care for them? I am going to the other side soon.” With death on her mind due to her rapidly declining health, Mother didn’t turn for comfort to her Nobel Prize or the thousands of glowing articles and books praising her name; instead, she pondered the plight of the poor. Mother understood that our purpose in life is to love and be loved. Our impact in this world is measured in the lives we touch, the connections we forge, the relationships we cultivate and deepen. That legacy of love is what we take with us at the end.

I’m so proud of what we do here at Aging with Dignity because of how we facilitate this realization. Wish 5 in Five Wishes is titled, “My Wish for what I Want My Loved Ones to Know.” It asks and prompts things like:

• If anyone asks how I want to be remembered, please say the following about me
• I wish to have my family and friends know that I love them
• I wish to be forgiven for the times I have hurt my family, friends, and others
• I wish to have my family, friends, and others know that I forgive them
• I wish for my family and friends to know that I do not fear death

What a beautiful way to come to terms with legacy, and to share it with our loved ones. As we move through life, we ought to be slowly packing our bags, to paraphrase Mother Teresa, for the next great adventure. If you’re not happy with the legacy you’re leaving behind, then it’s not too late – make some halftime adjustments, get back out on the field, and finish strong.

(The views expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Aging with Dignity and/or its Board of Directors.)